Where to even begin. For those that have followed along with me for a while, you probably know much of our story already. Back in 2017, I organized a very special rainbow maternity project and shared a bit of my story there. To make a long story short(er), we found ourselves having trouble growing our family after Jackson. We lost a pregnancy in July 2014 and then struggled to get pregnant again until our first miracle baby (Sawyer) arrived in December 2015. I suffered some health issues in December 2016 which required surgery in May 2017. Once we received the all clear (I had a golf ball sized tumor in my sinuses that ended up being nothing of concern!), we decided we were ready to try expanding our family once again. (I share in a little more detail here). We were blessed immediately with a positive pregnancy test. Needless to say, we were thrilled! Sadly, we lost that baby a week after finding out in June 2017. Then began a painful waiting process. It wouldn’t be until October 2018 before we had another viable pregnancy (I had a chemical pregnancy as well in August 2018).
All of these dates may seem totally insignificant, but God’s timing is absolutely perfect. You see, Ben was working crazy hours for three years. I’m talking 7 days a week….swing shift….10-16 hour days….it was insane. It was beyond challenging on our marriage and our boys. Looking back, I can’t imagine juggling a third child in the midst of that chaos. Now go back to when we found out we were expecting in October 2018. We were so thrilled and knew we would just have to make it work whatever happened. Ben began job hunting more seriously to get out of his crazy schedule and we just prayed that something would open up. Eventually, in January, something did open up. At his current job, in a position he worked previously years ago. He made the switch and while his schedule is still a little unpredictable, we have him home! And we wouldn’t trade that for a minute. For those that know us on a more personal level, you know the struggle we went through to get here and what it means to have him around more now. Okay, that was a bit of a tangent, but all this to say, God’s timing is perfect. This baby will be joining our family at a time when Ben will be much more available and present in our home life.
When we found out this baby was a girl, well….I’m not sure I can put into words how we felt. Blessed. So so blessed. No matter what the gender, this baby was already so loved and so wanted. A girl just brings us something new and different and we are excited to see how she fits into our family. We decided on a name that mean’s God’s promise because that is truly what she means to us. God promises that He will make all things work together for our good….even when we don’t see it…..even when we have to go through a lot of bad to get to it. He is working things together for our good. This baby is such a sweet symbol of positive change for our family. An answer to years of prayers…not just to expand our family, but to be able to be a family. To be together and not just working all the time.
A lot of people ask if we are done since this is a girl. While I feel this is a pretty private question, I have been fairly public with my journey so why not answer this too. The answer is we don’t know. We want to fully enjoy our time with this baby and our time as a family of five (whether it stays that way forever or not). What I can tell you is this - I have never felt such a deep appreciation for a pregnancy than this one. I realize looking back how naive I was when I was carrying Jackson and not fully appreciating the miracle that it was. I definitely had more of an appreciation with my pregnancy with Sawyer, but this one has felt even more special. Maybe because it could very well be my last. Maybe because we waited so long for this sweet girl. Who knows.
I am very pregnant/hormonal/sentimental writing this so thank you for bearing with me! Maternity photos have always been on my mind, but when it came down to it, I just never felt like doing them. On this morning, the boys brought it up (Jackson did at least) and I warmed up to the idea. I decided to put my discomfort aside and just get it done! The boys helped choose my dresses and accessories and pushed the button on the camera for me. I am so glad I did it (and hopefully will still do some with the Mr). I am so grateful for the way God has blessed me and our family. Now for the fun part….enjoy some favorites from my session with the boys!